


Too Much Sleeping, Not Enough Beauty

by daidia



Category: Avengers (Comics), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Bruce is me in this, F/M, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Multi, super crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-11
Updated: 2015-12-11
Packaged: 2018-05-06 05:09:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5404214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daidia/pseuds/daidia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sorcerers suck. Themed Supervillians really suck. Themed Sorcerer Supervillians especially suck, as the Avengers find out when an unknown magic user with a grudge picks up a book of fairy tales.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Too Much Sleeping, Not Enough Beauty

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a random post on Tumblr: http://ifeelbetterer.tumblr.com/post/134479988224/i-just-want-a-fic-where-clint-is-cursed-with-the
> 
> Yeah I don't know either. Please enjoy.
> 
> This event takes place wherever you want it to. Is this universe 616? Sure, why not. Is this pre-AOU, before we find out about The Farm? If that's what you want. Be happy in your fanfic and headcanons!

It is very difficult to find fairy tales charming once you grow up and do the research behind them.

It is even more difficult once you’ve had to reenact them repeatedly for months.

At first it was funny when Tony, nude with the exception of a crown, sauntered into Stark Tower after a leisurely stroll through Central Park that he couldn’t remember. As he said after Pepper yelled at him for half a day, “If I don’t give my PR department a workout every once in a while, how can I justify having one?”

Natasha waking up surrounded by dwarves with pickaxes was also a laugh riot. After JARVIS double-checked the security feed and confirmed that they didn’t break in, but randomly appeared, they were sent on their merry way (maybe as members of a brand new spy network run by Nat, but that can neither be confirmed or denied).

It was not as funny when Thor and Steve was magically teleported to a wheat field in the middle of a battle, stripped of their comm units and with a bag of bread crumbs that randomly appeared. It was even less funny when all of the Avengers minus an enraged Hulk were unceremoniously kicked out of Stark Tower by an invisible force and Sam had to fly up the side of the suddenly vine covered Tower to deescalate the situation.

The nail in the coffin was when on a coffee run for the Avengers, Clint suddenly fell into a coma.

After Bruce, SHIELD, and JARVIS all cleared him medically, Clint was moved to his apartment building in Bed-Stuy and kept on an IV in his bedroom. During the ride over, Tony mumbled grumpily under his breath, “Who here pissed in the Grimm Brothers’ cornflakes?”

One hospice set up and a scan for magic by Wanda later confirmed Tony’s jape. Some unknown sorcerer, probably the same fairy tale obsessed one that had been mucking about with their lives for some time now, had struck again; Clint was under a heavy duty sleep spell. And how does one awaken from deep sleep in fairy tales?  
*****  
“So, whose idea was it to dress him like… THAT?” Bruce asked incredulously. From his position in the doorway, he pointed at Clint laying down in his bedroom, smartly dressed in lilac breeches and hose with a lavender tunic. Lucky rested diligently at his owner’s side, watching every person give Clint a kiss to no avail.

Kate shrugged her shoulders. “That’s how he was found, which is weird, because he was wearing plaid when he left.”

“So why are WE dressed like this?” Bruce pressed forward, gesturing to himself and his fellow Avengers dressed in similar period wear.

Natasha swept by carrying a casserole dish covered in aluminum foil, smelling vaguely of spices. “We’re keeping the theme going,” she added lightly, stopping to glance at Steve as he exited the bedroom, shaking his head sadly.

“No go, I’m afraid,” he said.

“Which I find shocking, to say the least,” Tony interjected, patting Steve on the back fondly. “If anyone’s kiss could get a motor running, it’s yours.”

Steve grinned slightly at Tony as Thor swept grandly into the bedroom, looking every inch the conquering hero as he prepared to administer his own Kiss of Life.

“I realize that Clint’s done a lot for his neighbors, and that they’re very fond of him, but what’s with all the food?” Bruce asked as yet another neighbor dropped off yet another casserole dish.

“What, you’ve never had well-wishers give you food upon hearing about a super sick relative?” Sam asked.

Bruce shook his head. “I’m an only child.” He craned his neck into the bedroom. Upon viewing an incredibly deep kiss, he widened his eyes slightly and faced forward quickly, slightly blushing. “Wow. That’s a man kiss.”

“Curses! This foul magic has bested the attempts of both me and my comrades in arms!” Thor bellowed as he stormed out of the bedroom.

“Is he hamming it up to keep the theme going, or is he always like this?” Sam asked Bruce quietly.

“I honestly can’t tell anymore.”

Tony jumped up impatiently. “OK, this is getting nuts. Does anyone have Coulson’s number?”

As the rest of the Avengers began to go through their various acquaintances to see if they could come up with another person that could qualify as Clint’s True Love, Bruce slipped into the bedroom to check his vitals. Lucky looked up briefly, then returned to staring at his master.

“Sorry buddy,” Bruce said gloomily, patting Lucky on the head. “We’re still working on getting him back.”

Lucky whined sadly, then laid his head next to Clint’s, giving his face a brief lick.

Clint sat up blearily and scratched Lucky behind the ear. “Hey buddy,” he said in a raspy voice. He looked up at Bruce and smiled. “Is there any coffee made?”

Bruce stared blankly at Clint for a few seconds, then burst into shocked laughter. The other Avengers rushed in after hearing the sound. Clint looked from Bruce, who was now doubled over in laughter, to his companions, all looking stunned. “Did I miss something?”

Natasha sat on the edge of Clint’s bed and explained the past couple of days, while Bruce, gasping for breath, described how Lucky was instrumental to Clint’s awakening. A chorus of “Good Dog” echoed throughout the apartment, and Lucky wagged his tail in confirmation.

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written fanfic in over a decade. Just when I thought I was out, THEY PULL ME BACK IN!!
> 
> This was a drabble, just to dip my toe in to see if I want to start writing again. I like it, at the very least. Let me know what you think!


End file.
